Bewafa.. Gulity Pleasure

For some odd reason i like this odd.. :D.. Somebody shoot mee....

Somebody Kill Depression

So its been like a month since my month since my last month.... No i didnt leave blogging.. i just couldnt get myself to blog... Ive again doing some bad things lately... Hope God can forgive me... Yea i really am one his weirdest creations... He really must have been proud when he made coz i think his goal was to make everyone different and he definitely achieved it with me... So wats been up since my last post... Lets try to some it up... Hmm.. Well mostly Job... Yea i think without my job i would really have been useless.. My job makes me feel worthwhile... But i get so fed up sometimes from all the small politics and shit... Why wont anyone just let me do my job....Anyways.. other than that i just mainly hang out with friends.... Like i always do... Went to lahore for almost a week initially for my cousin's wedding... And it was weird wedding .. Firstly because it just felt weird and secondly because everyone including me was looking for a girl for me... Kinda found one but i dont know wat happened on it.. I just let my Mom handle these things for me....Anyways.. had to stay in lahore for a week on office project... Missed my mom.. Yea im a Momma's boy even though i dont show it to her for some reason i dont know.... My Sister in law came back... which was nice... Arsenal is going good .. Really hoping they win the league this time.... Bought Mauj's new album.. Its really good.. Must listen.... One of my really good friends also came back to Pakistan this weekend... And i have been having fun after a long time.. Life is same as before just going with the end.... I was in on of my down moods just now... Trying to make it good.... I hope i can get back to blogging on a regular basis.. And hope to start commenting on your blogs soon....

Blue...Snuff

Well last week was bad... i did something i shouldnt have done... Any nobody would do and some people wont even think of it but i did it... Which sucks alot.... I hope time will make me forget what i did... Anyways... its not like i was so innocent before... Other than that week was a little heavy... Head kept heavy most of the time... Mainly coz of the late nite sleeping... I think ive decided that im probably gona marry the next girl my parents talk to me about... I think ive had it.. And will just go on...

Anyways... Man u lost and arsenal won which is always a good thing..... Went to a play today... It was okay i guess... Needed something to make it gel but it didnt i think... i still have a heavy head.... Some of the songs i have been listening to over the week...

I really dont know

I really dont know whats up with my life these days.... Its just going along... Actually i think i still dont know what i want anymore.... After the surprising fucked up feelings on the night before yesterday.. i have a back to square one feeling... Anyways.. Hanging in there..... The V day is almost here.... Another useless day thats going to be..... Hoping to go to a concert today to have some kind of fun.... Listening to this song by 30 seconds to Mars these days....



Into the night
Desperate and broken
The sound of a fight
Father has spoken

We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell
Heaven and Hell

Into your eyes
Hopeless and taken
We stole our new lives
Through blood and name
In defense of our dreams
In defense of our dreams

We were the Kings and Queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the Children of a lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell
Heaven and Hell

The age of man is over
A darkness comes at dawn
These lessons that we learned here
Have only just begun

We were the Kings and Queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the Children of a Lesser God
Between Heaven and Hell

We are the Kings
We are the Queens
We are the Kings
We are the Queens

Still Happens...

.Advice in life.... Dont love someone so much that you end up hating them in the end when they leave.....

Saw her today.... Still get that fucked up feeling....

Thanks For the Memories...... Yea Rite

So really Thanks for the memories....I don't know if u get it but im being hugely sarcastic here.... Today was a bad day after sometime.. Felt weird... Its not like i hate my memories .. Im just sick and tired of it.... No im not just talking about the memories with my EX... Im just talking about my memories in general... Memories are just so OVERRATED.... I dont like them anymore... I just feel like that right now... Memories are just something that just keep bugging you or making you laugh.. There just i dont know...(In the words of a teenage girl... "BLEH"...) Anyways... I got this feeling after work and i was just driving around in my car coz my parents werent home and i had no one to open the door for me.... "Thanks for the memories" by Fall out boy came up...(Yea i like Fall out boy) At that point in my life this song just felt so angry and sarcastic and frustrated... Though it felt good... I sang to it to the top of my lungs.... Well im trying to something... but dont know what.. maybe something to do with work.... Anyways ... REALLY... THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES... NOW FUCK OFF....

Stone Sour

So as you people must have figured out by now that i have been out of blogging these days.... Its like the 30 th January today and i have only blogged just couple of times this month.... Its not like ive been too messed up or broken down that i couldnt get myself to write anything ... its just that i think i was just too lazy... Was down to my perverted ways again... Life is going okay... And by that i really mean "okay"... I kinda miss blogging... Especially missed the people extremely interesting people... Starting off with XEB... I dont know whats up with you these days but i would really like to find out... or i would just have to read all the post that i missed which i may not.... Than with Ally... Hope your doing well and things are good... I would like to apologize to NUR coz i was really bad to her..... Than would like to thank ARITRY for her amazing comments..... And NOUSHKIE i will definitely read all your posts some day.... and thanks AD for always being there.... "Closed eyes" will love to catch up with you.... Somehow i get the feeling that your really cute.. :P .. And "Marina" whereever you are hope your doing good... And to Maryam .. Im sorry for bugging u on FB chat..... And to MEHREEN... How are you doing these days???...And Ubaid my man.. How are things??

Thats my blog family.. Im sorry if i forgot someone.... I know all them all girls except for ubee.. But after all i started this blog becoz of a girl and i wasnt going to turn all gay so soon....

These days im trying to get one of my friends a job so that he can send a marriage proposal to his girl friends home ... LOL.. i know how that feels.. So trying to help him out....

Im just lazy and feeling useless these days...

Reminisce

So let start by recollecting whats been up after 2nd Jan... well u know after that date... My job started again after my leaves... Now i know how its good to have something to do... Really started to realize how big a thing it is for me to have a job... I like my job even though i dont like some of the people i work with.... Though have made some good friends.... In that first week of Jan also a great friend of mine came to pakistan which was a great surprise... Hes getting engaged which is awesome... Everybody has someone .. :) Anyways things have been going more or less smoothly... I ve been okay for those of you concerned out there....:P Watched Avatar in Cinepax... which was surely worth it.... I have been messed up in this small little thing i need to get myself out of.... Theres this test thats coming up for which im not studying for and dont know y i registered for it....

Arsenal for more or less have been going good which has helped also :D Gunners all the way this time :P

My parents have started thinking about my marriage these days... hahahaha.... My response this time is that im not ready now.. :P Yea previously you begged them for it ... :P Anyways... I havent thought abt it that much yet.. so not sure about it.... arranged marriage plus get to know her thing might happen in this case but there isnt a girl yet...

Been taking a training at work these days which i think im later gona regret... Reason becoz of my team lead....

Anyways... this post was to let you know that i kinda have been doin okay...And We'll try to be regular....

45 ... Out of th way

Been out of blogging in general... Trying to get back... Awesome song this is...

Really Fucked up

So shes getting married today... Finally the day which had pretty much fucked up my annual leaves was here.... I thought i was pretty much over her... Free to live off my sad existence but i was wrong... Her marriage caused a regression.. Just like cancer coming back to its victim... Have been pretty much fucked up the whole day... Been thinking about strange and weird things.. As weird as thinking about the 2 of them on their wedding night...(Yea i know pretty much fucked...) Anyways.. i will live to die another day... I don't mean shit to her right now but i don't why she means this much to me now that her memory fucked up a whole day for me... I feel really stupid... Khair.. went to one of my best friends... Smoked a lot of cigarettes...(No i don't smoke..) Talked a little... feeling a little better now... But still fucked up... Maybe i should listen to that inner voice and the voice of people around me and get married to the first girl my parents put their finger on... But No... I think you enjoy these fucked up feelings... Its just like the Stockholm syndrome... when the victims of kidnapping falls in love with the kidnappers... Anyways.. from monday i start work again... Hopefully some guided insanity will come back to my life...