Really Fucked up

on Saturday, January 2, 2010
So shes getting married today... Finally the day which had pretty much fucked up my annual leaves was here.... I thought i was pretty much over her... Free to live off my sad existence but i was wrong... Her marriage caused a regression.. Just like cancer coming back to its victim... Have been pretty much fucked up the whole day... Been thinking about strange and weird things.. As weird as thinking about the 2 of them on their wedding night...(Yea i know pretty much fucked...) Anyways.. i will live to die another day... I don't mean shit to her right now but i don't why she means this much to me now that her memory fucked up a whole day for me... I feel really stupid... Khair.. went to one of my best friends... Smoked a lot of cigarettes...(No i don't smoke..) Talked a little... feeling a little better now... But still fucked up... Maybe i should listen to that inner voice and the voice of people around me and get married to the first girl my parents put their finger on... But No... I think you enjoy these fucked up feelings... Its just like the Stockholm syndrome... when the victims of kidnapping falls in love with the kidnappers... Anyways.. from monday i start work again... Hopefully some guided insanity will come back to my life...

14 comments:

Media Junkie said...

*hugs* i've gone through this so many times before...and would have gone through this the whole of last month if i hadn't decided that enough was enough.

i hope you feel better soon. and as for her, she clearly wasn't meant for you - because you were meant for someone better.

take care.

Anonymous said...

dnt smoke, rest will be allright.

SS said...

I hope you remember the warning sign on the pack: Smoking is injurious for your health.
SS

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

@media Junkie: Thanks alot man..

@anon: thanks.. i know..

@SS: yea i remember that bro...

Closed eyes... said...

LPS, :( I'm sorry. Don't fuck your life for someone, who doesn't care! Think about the rest, who truly love you. Live for them. Live for yourself.

Happy 2010! (:

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

hey... closed eyes :P.. im happy to see u on blog.. and thanks...

AritrY said...

okay, I don't wanna be mean, but you are so damn screwed man!!!

seriously, you need to flush her outta your life.
You know what? Married people are unhappy in most cases. Now be happy <_<

don't get hurt, get angry. Gali do usko and start hating her.
Sorrow never works. Don't make your pillow wet, plan revenge or curse the person before going to bed.
This is the best moron-like advice from a insane teenager.
But trust me, bitchyness always works.
take care. adios

~*~ Jal Pari ~*~ said...

I know its easier for me to say this but it was clearly not meant to be. Your happiness lies else where and as your life unfolds..you shall encounter it like its meant to be. I am talking from experience :).

May the new year bring all that happiness and much more. Best wishes!

M said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Noushkie said...

I can understand how you feel. You reminded me something I read once (will translate);

"Perfer et obdura;
dolor hic tibi proderit olim!"

(Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you).

Noushkie x

Lonely Perverted Soul said...

Hey ppl... thanks for all ur comments.. they mean alot..

Anonymous said...

stfu. and do something

Outlandish Ann said...

It will get better with time. As Lord Byron said:
Time: adorner of the ruin, comforter and the only healer when the heart hath bled

Good luck.

P.S. Your dp scared the hell out of me. I swear.

Ally said...

aritry's comment is daa bessst! <3 :p