on Thursday, July 29, 2010
This song just makes me feel so depressed.... I dedicate this to all the people who passed away in the plane crash.. especially Muhammad Umar Khan.....

on Wednesday, July 28, 2010
So someone i know did pass away in the crash... A guy from my batch in university died in the crash.... May his soul rest in peace along with all of those people who passed away... Today truly is a sad day... Days like these are not good for my emotional state.... Fuck... All i can do is not think about it... Which is kinda cold... Anyways.. My prayers are with all those people... Especially Muhammad Umer Khan ...*Sigh*... :((
on Tuesday, July 27, 2010
So i want help.... Somebody help me.... I need help... I admit it... Im an addict... Im a masochist.... Im a worker... I maybe one of the nicest person out there... I wana be a darwaish.. I wana be a Sufi... I wana study sufism... I want the world to go deep down into sufism.... They needs to be a big debate on sufism.... But im kinda tired of this life.. I feel tired.... I need to accomplish something.... I need to find something... People around me are messed up in their own worlds... People are dying... People are getting mistreated.. People getting raped... Crime is everywhere... We need to go back to Sufism... But somehow i don't believe it can happens... I need to solve issues... I need fix things.. I need to fix the problems around me... I need to fix the problems of the world... I miss Palvshe... The Fm 89 dj that used to come do the rush hour show... Im sick... Im ill.. My brain waves are not working right.... I want to party somehow.... I need to travel... Hopefully that will start with my visit to the netherlands this September...
on Sunday, July 25, 2010
So my self-pleasuring depression has finally caught up to me... All those sleepless nights have finally got my health in a choke hold.... I have fallen pray to my depression and it has started affecting my health... The first time it happened.. I just ignored it.. Just didn't wana think about it.. And now it has happened the second time and it front of everyone... Now almost everyone knows that something is wrong.. And im just telling them that everything is okay... I need to get out of it now.. Coz this seriously is freaking out my parents... I mean they don't deserve it.... I need to make myself better... I need to make myself feel better...And this time i really am trying.... My advice to everyone out there who may think they are in something similar... Just don't be like me.... And Good luck with everything...
on Saturday, July 24, 2010
So finally im back.. Wasn't feeling well health wise lately.. But im slowly getting back to health... Been listening to this song....

on Friday, July 9, 2010
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.
on Monday, July 5, 2010
So i've got some memories associated with this song.... When you've listened to so many songs... There are alot of songs that remind of you of stuff... i Dont why im up at this time... I should be sleeping since i have to go to work tomorrow... Anyways heres the song...

It Ends Tonight

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all that wants
And all that needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
Your finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My minds unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight will make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when your blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

[Chorus x2]
on Friday, July 2, 2010
Its moment like these that i feel alone... Hence the name "Lonely" perverted soul.... Its just weird how alone i feel right now....
on Thursday, July 1, 2010
So in office.. I don't like evening shift... there kinda boring... I wanna go out with friends and just chill... My senior guys in the team are against me ... Hahahah... but my manager is with me... Its so fucking political here... :P Anyways... Just listening to songs... Weird ones.. like the bilal khan one... I need something... I think i really should go to Netherlands...

Anyways.. don't know what else to talk about... Byee..