Sick & tired

Im so sick & tired of this life......

A Year went by

So it was a year on 27th dec... The day it was final that we weren't gona be together.. And now shes getting married this weekend.. For the last 10 days i have been regressing... But im hoping it will end after this weekend... My holidays are going by like i expected fast and without any purpose... Been listening to the song i posted below.... Its a nice song... Its a song about what i really shud be thinking.. About being a simple kind of man... Khair all the best to her and everyone i know...ADIOS

A simple Man

Well Mama told me, when I was young
Said sit beside me, my only son.
And listen closely, to what I say.
And if you do this,
It will help you some sunny day.
Ahh Yeah it will.


Oh Take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come, and they will pass.
You'll find a woman, and you'll find love,
And don't forget that,
There is someone up above.


And be a simple kind of man.
Be a something, you love and understand.
And be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?
If you can?


Forget your lust, for the rich man's gold
All that you need now, is in your soul,
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try.
All that I want from you my son,
Is to be satisfied.


And be a simple kind of man.
Be a something, you love and understand.
Baby, be a simple kind of man.
Oh won't you do this for me son,
If you can?
If you can?


Oh, don't you worry, you'll find yourself.
Follow you heart, and nothing else.
And you can do this, oh baby, if you try.
All that I want from you my son,
Is to be satisfied.


And be a simple kind of man,
Oh won't you do this for me son,
if you can?
So baby be a simple, be a simple man
Oh won't you do this for me son,
if you can?

I should deserve this

"So when you're head is empty and there's nothing left to think about, remember me.
Because I deserve at least that much time with you."
Courtesy
Nur Rahman

If you only knew

I have no words to say.... Just a song..

Dreamed of her

So i dreamed of her a couple of days ago.... but i failed to blog about it... It was weird... Maybe the feelings are coming because shes going to get married next week... Which is weird somehow too... The dream was weird realyy.. WTF.... Anyways my annual leaves have started from today... Hope they dont go to waste ... Havent done anything since morning... Need to do something.... Aaaaa... Ubee has got me stuck on the anathema song.... I guess it definitely is a one last goodbye...

Tagged by Ally

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No i wasn't.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I think a couple of weeks ago or maybe last week.Done remember.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
No i don't

4. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably not. Im too boring.

5. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
I like to

6. HOW DO YOU WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE IN A COUPLE OF YEARS? (REALISTICALLY PLEASE)
Self satisfaction

7. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I dont think so

8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
I don't eat cereal.

9. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
umm..nope

10. WOULD YOU MOVE AGAIN?
No dont wana move.

11. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Dont know.. Its different for guys and girls... Dont know abt the guys.. But for the girls its the feet.

12. RED OR PINK?
Red probably


13. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Dont know

14. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Umm.. Her.. Shit i thought i was over her..


15. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Not really.. upto others

16. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
No shoes..Im in bed.

17. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Your winter by sister hazel

18. WHAT ANNOYS YOU THE MOST?
Myself

19. FAVORITE SMELL?
Smell of dirt after the rain..

20. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My boss.. LOL

21. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Yea i like Ally :D

22. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football

23. HAIR COLOR?
Black i guess

24. EYE COLOR?
Um.. i think its kinda hazelish brown and green.. Nobody can ever tell :P

25. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAJOR REGRETS?
Maybe.. Not sure

26. FAVORITE FOOD?
Pizza and french fries

27. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Probably happy endings

28. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED, AND WITH WHOM?
White out.Alone.


29. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Its a kameez.. Greyish


30. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter


31. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both.xoxo mmmwahmwah :D Lol.. u agree


34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
None

35. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
No mouse pad.


36. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Nothing

37.WHAT LITTLE THING MAKES YOU HAPPY?
Fun with Friends

38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.

39. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Umm.. bhawalpur i guess.. i dont go away from home much


40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Don't know,I'd have to think about it.


41. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
Umm... Pta nai


42 HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
No spouse at the moment.

Things changed

I just wanted to be her friend... A person she could always depend on... A person she knew was always there for her but things changed ... And im the one who changed them....

Im scared that i wont love anyone else like her..... And like the song says that she'll be with me for the rest of my life..... Oh man not a regression....

Hold

So here comes another series in my sunday morning posts... Been in bed a very long time... Just came across this song... i think i had forgotten a little... This was our song.... I want this to be someone else's song... The band "within reason" brought back alot of nostalgic memories.... Those were kinda good fun... Thing goes as it is...

Here is the song....



Tonight I'll be dreaming home alone in my bed
I do my best thinking when I'm all by myself
Wonder where you are now and if you're feeling the same
And if you got the letter that I sent yesterday

What can I do now just to make things right?
Cause I haven't slept now in the past 3 nights
Cause I want to hold you for all your days
Take my hand just let me show you the way
And I want to hold you lets make it right
Cause I'll be with you now for the rest of your life

Now somebody told me everything that you said
and how you look out your window before you crawl into bed
And you refuse to move on now cause you're feeling the same
and there's tears on the letter that I sent yesterday

What can I do now just to fix this tonight
Cause I wont sleep until we make this right
Cause I want to hold you for all your days
Take my hand just let me show you the way
And I want to hold you we'll make it right
cause I'll be with you now for the rest of your life

Cause I want to hold you for all your days
Take my hand just let me show you the way
And I want to hold you lets make it right
Cause I'll be with you now for the rest of your life

And I want to hold you for all your days
Take my hand just let me show you the way
And I want to hold you we'll make it right
Cause I'll be with you now for the rest of your life
And I'll be with you now for the rest of your life
AndI'll be with you now for the rest of your life

I FEEL LIKE CRYING

I FEEL LIKE CRYING JUST NOW...

Pictures of you

I guess i qualify as one of those people whose mood can change with one song... Today my mood became weird with this song....
By the way I love "the cure"... One of my favorite bands....



I've been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they're real
I've been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel

Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and wider than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go

Remembering
You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But I never see anything

If only I'd thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I'd thought of the right words
I wouldn't be breaking apart
All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you
But I never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you

Weird Inc.

So the blast that happened a couple days ago in parade lane pindi has had quite the affect on me.... Im saying it that coz i still thinking about even after a couple of days.... otherwise i forget about these blasts the next day... i said you stop thinking about these things the next day coz you havent lost anyone you know in these blasts.... but it has started to change.... Even though i didnt know any of the people who passed away in the blast directly but it has come down to one degree of separation now... i know alot of people who have lost someone they know in the blast.... And it has gotten really fucked up... May Allah bless all those who passed away.... All this stuff have made me even more emotional than normal.... And i get all weird when i get emotional.... I start thinking about multiple little weird things.... Start thinking about weird stuff... I need to do something to stop this... i dont know what..... what can we do... we cant just sit and mourn and then wait for the next blast to happen.... Are we really so helpless.... We have lost so many good people..... This just has to stop somehow...... The only thing that ive heard and that comes to mind is that we have to stay united.... And that sounds so fucking cliche.... Or maybe we should all join the intelligence agencies and just fight....But... fuck... life goes on..... Maybe not for the ones who lost someone close.... There life is lost.... derailed... changed... stuck in time... But then they are people who are really strong and believe in God... i've seen those people... i dont know if these people are just putting up a brave face or something... But they say they believe and maybe they really do....

I hate myself... i really do... i wana fight the devil in me....I Wana do something... i wana change this somehow...
But i dont do anything....

I've started watching one tree hill again.. LOL... it makes me feel better... Hahahaha.. those emo hunters are gona have a field day with this ...... But it really does a little... i used to watch it becoz it made me forget about my life and i got immersed in the tree hill life... yea those were the good old days.....

Anyways... its another long sunday morning in bed... i think is becoming a tradition now... a sunday morning post.... :P The thing that is bothering me is that i wana talk to my ex about this blast... And i wana know how shes feeling about it.... But i cant.... How come in the hollywood movies the ex boyfriend or girlfriend are always the best friends.... Does that really happen.. i dont know maybe.... but the cycle maybe different..... u cant be friends first than in a relationship and then friends again..... I dont know how life works.....

Okay this is my final line for today.... "The only way to really get over someone is to find someone else...." Trust me there is no other way... it really isn't....

Khair... Good Morning....

Quiet in my town

A more appropriate song....

A long december

This is probably a appropriate song for today...

Sad

So people...... things are getting really worse in my city.... It used to be so peacefully... People dieing so much... And alot of people around me are being affected... I hate it .. i hate this .... Who the fuck are these people.... A friend of friend/colleague passed away in the blast today... He was in the mosque... Trying to safe his brother... His nikah was in 2 weeks.... dont know any details... A friend of a cousin also passed away..... This is so fucked up... i was really worried about my EX... but i got to know through another friend that she was okay.... but i dont know if everyone she knows is okay..... This is really messed up....

Whats happening???

But life goes on.....As it always does... until you die..