Nothing to write

So i have nothing to write... i have been down a little lately... Been tired... been fed up with my job... Anyways today i got great message from someone which i thot i shud share with you... "Seriously you need to enjoy yar.. eternal peace can be just obtained by 1z own will... I try my best to be happy i believe in Allah wat ever he gives me is 4 my betterment.. i know if he gives me pain he gives to the extent i can handle.. i m happy for he makes me stronger by giving pain.. more happier coz dat pain isnt lasting and i dont let it last either.. you have to fight the negativity ... u have to find the inner light..u have to find the key which is within u dat will make u happy... "

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday

Jo Meray

Mann mera chahay jo woh bolay meree raah mein
Mann mera sochay aaj dolay meree shaam mein

Lagay bol meray mann mein
Koi bol de!
Haal-e-dil jo meray tann mein
Koi rok de!

Jo meray raahi, woh meray Naahi
Meray bol meree raah main
Jo tann mein dekhay, kyoon mann mein sochay?
Meray bol meree raah main
Mann dolay meree shaam mein

Mann mera chahay jo woh bolay meree raah mein
Mann mera dolay aaj bolay meree shaam mein
Lagay bol meray mann mein…

Just been listening to this song.... it is just that kind of song... it hasnt been that long that ive admitted that i like Noori... i think it was the right decision... Its been really a bad day.... Last night i was up all night in office... There was this activity.... Anyways.. Bad day... Seems as if im just floating.... I just wana sleep in the arms of someone.. I wana breathe with the breath of someone... I wana talk with someone... I wana sleep for a really really long time.... I dont wana go to office tomorrow.. I dont like it there.. I just have that weird feeling inside me.... Where did my happy go lucky life go.... Just dont wana read anything... Just dont wana write anything... Today got some work to do which i dont wana do.. have to do it till the end of next week.... Hope things goess goood... Anyways this is the song....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjehYh8N1iY

Something never said before

Somethings i think i have never said to no one... Oh yea i told this to someone yesterday so i decided to write it on my blog too... Hate is a really strong word... I never use it... But all i wana say is that a part of me is disappointed in her.. Even though i keep on telling myself that she couldn't do anything else.. A fucking part of me feels that she could have done more... I would have done anything.... I was ready to do to me the greatest wrong in this world that is to go against my parents.. But she didnt do the same thing... why?... i guess its better not to answer that question... Yes i still live.. and im okay.. Like everyone said i would be.. and i thot myself the same thing... But a part of me has truly died... It definitely does happen... That part i can never get back.... People will never see that part of me... All they will see is the parts of me that are living.... I just go with the flow.... Like i always used to... People will forget... But i will never.... But i still hope i do...

Anyways.. i keep on living my life.. Last night was fun.. After a really long time i had a all nighter with my friends... It was BBQ, music, lots of sheesha(My first ever self made sheesha and it was a great one..)... stupidities..as in shugal... singing.. and a sunrise with a half sun... oh yea they were alot of falling stars in the sky tooo... It was fun...
Today was nice also ... got to spent some time with my bro and bhabi...

Where is the music... it just comes in small batches these days... Still listening to akira Yamaoka.. Tomorrow is again my not so good office...

I want love (THE FULL NIGHTMARE)

All right, let's do this
One, two, three

I want a cup that overflows with love
Although it's not enough to fill my heart
I want a barrel full of love
Although I know it's not enough to fill my heart
I want a river full of love
But then I know the holes will still remain
I need an ocean full of love
Although I know the holes will still remain

And this Swiss-cheese heart knows
Only kindness can fill its holes
And love can dry my tears
As pain disappears

I need a miracle and not someone's charity
One drop of love from him
And my heart's in ecstasy
The high that is sending me
Is most likely ending me
I need a miracle and not someone's charity

Fill up my heart with love
Oh, you'd be amazed at how little I need from him
to feel complete here and now
Stirring within me
are these feelings I can't ignore
I need a miracle and that's what I'm hoping for

I need a miracle and not someone's charity
One drop of love from him
And my heart's in ecstasy
The high that is sending me
Is most likely ending me
I need a miracle and not someone's charity now
Oh, baby

Anybody's love but his will never fill this space within me
Now doctor, give me what I need to free my heart from misery

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNgf0juRhmM&feature=related

Room of Angels... A nightmare

So insignificant, sleeping dormant deep inside of me,
Are you hiding away, lost, under the sewers,
Maybe flying high, in the clouds?
Perhaps you're happy without me...
So many seeds have been sown in the field,
And who could sprout up so blessedly,
If I had died I would have never felt sad at all,
You will not hear me say 'I'm sorry'
Where is the light, wonder if it's weeping somewhere?

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes.
[Goodbye]
It was always you that I despised.
I don't feel enough for you to cry, [oh no]
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes,
[Goodbye],

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes.
[Goodbye]
It was always you that I despised.
I don't feel enough for you to cry, [oh no]
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes,
[Goodbye],
[Goodbye],
[Goodbye],
[Goodbye].

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes.
[Goodbye]
It was always you that I despised.
I don't feel enough for you to cry, [oh no]
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes,
[Goodbye],

Here's a lullaby to close your eyes.
[Goodbye]
It was always you that I despised.
I don't feel enough for you to cry, [oh no]
Here's a lullaby to close your eyes,
[Goodbye],
[Goodbye],
[Goodbye],

After a long time i liked a song like i used to like songs.... Thanks to kasana...

Room of Angels:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMvOkUMPZ0g

Beautiful People

How come im surrounded by beautiful people.... i want one for myself....

AAAAAaaaaaaaaaa......

So just came home from office... things are really fucked up there... Anyways.. i wana go to a secluded island... find a beautiful cute girl... and just talk to her for hours... Hahaha.. i really have gone loco.. :P Anyways.. ADIOS...

Good memories

Why do the good memories haunt me so much??

Hmm.. part 2

So im back to my blog after sometime... Was busy with my brothers wedding.. It was fun and great... Hoping the best for my brother and bhabi.. May they live happily ever after... :) However the thing of me wanting to change my overall general mood after the whole event doesnt seem to have worked out so far... Yesterday was a pretty bad day... Didnt feel like doing anything.... It just passed somehow... Today was a little bit better... MAn i still feel weird... Anyways.. having a new person at home feels good.. even though i havent been around much due to my evening shifts at work.... i have to catch up with the other blogs i read...
I wana hear some good music... i seemed to have lost my mobile's handsfree...which is a big hindrance... I seem to not really like my job... even though it has only been a month or so but still i dont feel like it... hopefully i wud be able to like it in a while or so... im just feeling tired...maybe it was the shaadi or maybe its my job.. dont know... Still feel weird...

hmmm....

Dear God,

I realized today that i really havent talked to you in quite a while... We humans are so selfish.. Even when we are going through some tough times we really dont give you any of our time... Atleast when things are going bad for us we should talk to you so you can make things better not that you wont make it better anyway... Khair.. First of all i would like to thank you about the recent job that i was given... I have been trying to get this job for a long time like over a year now.. And you finally gave to me.... Thanx a million for it... But you know us human always complain... Like now i think i have gotten myself into something really tough as compared to my easy going job of before.. but please forgive me for this as i dont know better.. This job was a part of my plan... although the plan didn't work out but deep down inside i truly know that it was for my best everything you did.. So please don't mind if i sometime show that i dont like that decision of yours... i dont know any better....I would like to thank you for bringing my brother back to me for a while... Now i just pray to you that you make everything on his wedding go well and may his wedding be the best.. And may he and my sister in law live happily ever after like in the movies.... God.. i would like to ask you to make my mom and dad happy always... becoz i think i dont do enuff to make them happy instead becoz of me they get worried... So please lessen their load... Free them off all the difficulties and give me the power to make them happy.. meanwhile you keep them happy and smiling... God i think im really weird... I know you made me that way but i think i should act a little normal now.. You should think about it and let me know if you think the same... God i still think about her everyday.. I dont know why... yes it has lessened alot now from before..And thank you alot for that... But i think there isnt a day when i havent thot abt her atleast once... God when wil this end... I know i have the power and ull be thinking right now the same thing that you have given me the power and its in me but i dont know y i still feel helpless...God give me peace of mind and body... Peace is all i need.... Please God give me the ability to make my brothers wedding the best and make everyone happy... God please make things go great for everyone especially for my brother and sister in law... help me in living my life in the best of ways and in being good to everyone... Give me strength and ability to bring happiness in the lives of the people around me and in the lives of the people i come in contact with and also in my own life... God help me in being happy for myself... In end i would to like thank you for everything.. Thanks a lot for giving the gift of life to a unworthy person like me... Hopefully i can repay you atleast 1% in return... Thanx again... Hopefully i will keep in touch this time...(yea thats what u said the last time..) .. Lastly i would like to thank you for all the friends you have given me... Please make there live comfortable and bring happiness and joy in their lives too....

Best Regards
ME

My Song

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed, to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I'd survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

:)

So havent had this much fun in a long time..... :) Feeling good at the moment.... Just had a all boys dholki in honour of my brothers shaadi.. It was just me and my friends.... Food, heat, loadshedding , surprisingly limited amount of good bhangra songs, and lot of freestyle dancing... :P It was one hell of a party... Everyone was just jumping up and down.. flapping their arms legs feet everywhere.... They were also some slight gaps of some sort of coordinated dancing too... It was a typical boys party..... Swapped old stories when the light went... It was mostly one guy with all the stories... Then just went crazy when the light came.. :P Anyways it was alot of fun.... And i wanted and needed it to be all that... I needed something kick start my mood for my brother's wedding.. otherwise i wud have ruined it for everyone.... My brothers coming too in a couple of hours which is also great.. Had to attend to some office work too before the party... that went okay too.. So all around it was good day... Still on a high from all the dancing.. I ran out of water at my house too in the end... LOL.. It was just dancing and then a cigi and water break... :P Hope the next week goes great... And everything goes okay...

Immunity

So the other day someone told me that their immune to all kinds of feeling... I mean this person has actual immunity to feel anything... How cool is that.. I was so jealous of that person... Im sick and tired of the feelings i have... Im tired of all the crap my feelings pull on me... They make me so fucked up.... Im tired of feeling everything and im tired of feeling the nothingness... I wish i had that immunity.. Please somebody show me how do i get that immunity... How can i buy it... tell me please.. Right now ill give anything for it....

So today i have a song of the day after a long time.. And funny enuff its by lifehouse... Those of u who have followed my blog from the start..(yea like there is anyone out there who has done that... :P) ...knows that i have had ths up and down thing with lifehouse... But i had made my peace with them.... Today its their song "breathing" which is the song of the day.. Was listening to it today... This is a nice little song....

I'm finding my way back to sanity, again
Though I don't really know what
I am gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want o be here now


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kqki1HCHOE&feature=related

Q of the day

found this on this blog

* if I lost you, I was the one who loved you most, but between us you lost more, for someday, Allah may open up my heart to love someone the way I love you, but you may never be loved again by anyone else, the way I did *

Somewhere i belong

So today was okay i guess.... Office was usual fucked up thing... After office hung out with a very good friend of mine.. I seem to be mostly feel good with friends.... Especially ths one... He has same issues as mine... He told me something today that made me think that they are really no set of rules to this life... I really need to chill yar... I should be fucking happy or excited or anythin..its my brother's wedding next week... This sunday throwing a party for my friends... trying to kick off something in me.... I really feel lost in my life these days.... I feel like somebody created a worm hole in my life's timeline which keeps sucking me in.... Below are the lyrics to one of the songs from my childhood... I first heard it one of those music shows that used to some on NTN or STN... its "Come undone" by duran duran... i was listening to this song today... and it felt good...

Mine, immaculate dream, made breath and skin, Ive been waiting for you,
Signed, with a home tattoo, happy birthday to you was created for you.

(cant ever keep from falling apart.. at the seams)
(cant I believe youre taking my heart.. to pieces)

Ahh, itll take a little time, might take a little crime to come undone
Now well try to stay blind, to the hope and fear outside,
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry.

Who do you need?
Who do you love?
When you come undone.

Words, playing me deja vu, like a radio tune I swear Ive heard before,
Chill, is it something real, or the magic Im feeding off your fingers

(cant ever keep from falling apart.. at the seams)
(can I believe youre taking my heart.. to pieces)

Lost, in a snow filled sky, well make it alright, to come undone,
Now well try to stay blind, to the hope and fear outside,
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind -
And blow me in to cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFbDhbl3QPY

Death Note

So today was another bad day... It went really bad till 7:30... then my mom talked to me and then it went okay....Finally watched the tour de france... Fridays are mostly not okay so lets see how its gona be....

Still Hurts

So it still hurts.... now i dont even know what hurts me... But something hurts.... Today was a long and hard day... Had a office dinner... Im tired as hell... It was again one of those days... Yes it hurts... So fucking dont know what fucking hurts.... Just wana get out of this fucked up thing.... Just wana get out of it... My head is really heavy.... Just stop it... Feeling sleepy too... Maybe tomorrow will be a better day....

07072009

So i was listening to the breakfast show on the radio on my way to the office today... And the question of the day was how to get over your "EX"... Yea it was a normal thing.. This question is mostly popular with radio shows but the thing that bothers me is that it was understood that this question was in default for females who can't get over their EXs... I mean is it just me or am i the only sissy good for nothing guy out there who can't get over his EX... I mean how is it expected that guys are the ones who easily get over stuff... Okay maybe thats the norm... But is their no place out there in this world for us sensitive(LOL...:P) guys..Okay maybe not sensitive ..okay lets say EMO guys... Ha huh... That truly is the case.... Anyways... Thats the way God made us.. okay maybe just me....

Times have have really changed man.... The tour de france has now been on for like 4 stages already and i didnt know that it was on.. It was my brother who msged me so i found out it was on... There was a time when i used to give up everything but not miss a stage of the tour de france... It was really fun... Used to just lie in front of the TV and not move till that stage of the race end.... Maan times have changed...

The song of the day after a long while is Second chance by Shine down.... I thought i should have one today....

Second Chance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmlhNNPoC0M
http://www.metrolyrics.com/second-chance-lyrics-shinedown.html

Issues

Everyone has their issues...wat are urs?

Love in a elevator

So my last post was just some frustration i was taking out at myself and it was directed at me... Just me.... Today was a good day.. I still feel weird saying my day is good... I dont know why... maybe becoz im just the biggest pacifist ull ever know... So on my way back from office today i was listening to the song love in a elevator by aerosmith.. Now that is a fantasy.. :P you know the one in which u fall in love with ur special someone in a elevator ride... :P

The song has some funny lyrics...

Workin like a dog for the boss man
Workin for the company
Im bettin on the dice Im tossin
Im gonna have a fantasy

But where am I gonna look
They tell me that love is blind
I really need a girl like an open book
To read between the lines

Love in an elevator
Livin it up whn Im goin down
Love in an elevator
Lovin it up till I hit the ground

Jackies in the elevator
Lingerie second floor
She said can I see you later
And love you just a little more

I kinda hope we get stuck
Nobody gets out alive
She said Ill show you how to fax
In the mailroom, honey
And have you home by five

In the air, in the air, honey one more time
Now it aint fair
Love in an elevator
Lovin it up when Im goin down

Love in an elevator
Goin down

Gonna be a penthouse pauper
Gonna be a millionare
Im gonna be a real fast talker
And have me a love affair

Gotta get my timin right
Its a test that I gotta pass
Ill chase you all the way to stairway, honey
Kiss your sassafrass

After work i went out with friends.. Today we went in search of some good and cheap garlic mayo fries.... Which we found... They day was hectic and busy... thats y i probably declared it a good day.. :P Hmm.. still waiting for something....

Fuck off

Fuck off...

Where Does the good go...

Oh i was so in love with this song a while back......

Where do you go with your broken heart in tow
What do you do with the left over you
And how do you know, when to let go
Where does the good go, where does the good go
Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and un break broken, it won't happen
It's love that breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go
Where does the good go
Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down
Where does the good go, where does the good go

So where does the good go by Tegan And Sara

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYcspvNFekk&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjg_5taQASk&feature=fvw

Obsession 2

Im obsessed with the thing that you all probably know by now... Yea im obsessed by it too...And it is a thing not a person.... My obsession are very less to give up.... I haven't given up a thing by now.. i think... or atleast a meaningful thing.... Yea it is my weakness and my strength... It what makes me ME... Finally got my death note.. Gona watch it now... Btw FU....

#@#!@!@

Im loosing followers...I think im geting really boring... I blab alot.... Khair... Its saturday.. and im relaxing.. Woke up after 1.. My friends from my old office came..So hung out with them... It was really fun.... I really dont know what to write... I have lost it....

Obsession

I was sad then i was happy... Then i was fine and then i was sad... I was good and then i was depressed... I was okay and then i was not worth it....
Im surprisingly dealing...
Things will be better...
Yea right...
And people say why i degrade myself in front of some...

PS: ill try to post something worthy from now on...

Ignore Me

Ignore Me please... Life please ignore me... I just want the world to ignore me... Yea the hell you do... You want the life around you... You want the world to be with you... TO be a part of you.... Just do it.... Smoking is injurious to health... :P :P.... Oh what the fuck am i saying.. Wish i could change like KAS to something lubby dubby.... So i can write something meaningful and worthy... Something people can feel good about after reading.... OH i so crave for dark humor... I want someone to talk to about nothingness....

Love

I love my life.. I think... Im very perverted too... I almost like all the pretty girls i see... :P