A day to be alone

So just came back from my office... Surprisingly i left it on time.. :P But i have to be up till like 6:30 am because of this fucking activity i have to be on call for.. *Sigh*.. Anyone wanna stay up with me...? Im listening to this song shared by nZ! .. She seems to have a similar situation in her mind to me.. Probably the same things go through her head as mine... But i don't know what things lead her to thinking like the way i do... Anyways.. Enjoy the song.. Its awesome...



One Less Reason : A Day To Be Alone

She said I wonder when it'll be my day
'Cause I'm not too far from breaking down
And all IÂ’ve got are screams inside
But somehow they come out in a smile
And I'm wondering if I'll always feel this way, this way

(Chorus)
Tell me about those nights you stayed awake
Tell me about those days you hated me
Tell me how you'd rather die alone
Than being stuck here with me
And maybe you've fallen down
And maybe you just took the long way home
But baby you could never love you Â… like me
And one day this will fade away
In the mirror you'll see a smiling face
And standing next to you will always be me, yea me

One day you're gonna see things my way
You gave me so much room that I can't breathe
When all I've got are pictures to view
There was nothing before it all started with you
For some reason it's supposed to be that way, that way

(Chorus)
Tell me about those nights you stayed awake
Tell me about those days you hated me
Tell me how you'd rather die alone
Than being stuck here with me
And maybe you've fallen down
And maybe you just took the long way home
But baby you could never love you Â… like me
And one day this will fade away
In the mirror you'll see a smiling face
And standing next to you will always be me, yea me

If I could shrink it down and put it in your hands
We made it hurt so much, I can't forget the past
Just tell me what to say, show me what to do
Then I can forgive me and I would forgive you

(Chorus)
And maybe you've fallen down
And maybe you just took the long way home
But baby you will never love you Â… like me
And one day this will fade away
In the mirror you'll see a smiling face
And standing next to you will always be me
You know will always be me
And I will wait, always be me, yea
Till I see your smiling…

Where did they come from?

Okay just like to say that our society has been over run by these teenagers with their western clothing and western styles and western accents and western way of thinking... I mean where did they come from... They weren't around when i was growing up.. Or i was just oblivious to them... Okay you might tell by my blog and my middle name that i hang in mostly an all boys circle of friends and when we go out to hit all the "IN" places we find these girls and boys sitting there... Im not judging them or anything... but they just seem a bit different from us.... Oh yea and also because we are jealous of them coz they're sitting with girls and we're not... And yea we stare to.. Whatever.. but that's not the point... They are sitting at these expensive places and spending all their parents money... I mean.. i dont know what i want to say here... Maybe im just a bit concerned about wheres our younger generation is going... I mean when we were that age we have to save from our lunch money to go out maybe once a week... I don't.. They are kinda spoiling the other teenagers too because when they look at them they wana be like them.. coz they have all the girls and money and stuff.. I dont know... Everyone thinks that they are just a small part of the society... But i think they are the only part of the society that we see out there... The remaining part of the society just stay in their homes.. I dont know.. I guess i wana be like them too.. I want the girls.. i want the cars.. i want the money.. but thats just weird... I don't know maybe we should just leave them be and do what they want... After all they are a free source of poondi for us guys... They do what they want and we do what we want... No one bothering each other... Live and let live....

I don't know what this post was about... Actually i saw the trailer for the movie "Slackistan" which is coming out soon... or i just wanted to write some shit..

Wish

I so wish right now that i had a sister who would make me a toasted cheese sandwich and i won't have to get out of bed myself... I really wish...

Alot

So i got alot on my mind right now but i just dont know how to say it or express it or whatever.... So i realized that shit i may not be over her still... I hovering somewhere around the 90s%.. The rest % i will be over her when i find a new girl... I felt weirded out because now shes having a hand bag exhibition.. I mean seriously life changes so drastically so quickly... i never knew she wanted to have hand bag line... Im sure this was one of his ideas.. or maybe not.. I don't know shit about life anymore.. Oh yea to top it of i think i've finally realized that im depressed by choice... I mean how pathetic is that... Does any of you know anyone like me? i bet you don't.... I got depressed after my break up and then after a while i started enjoying the depression.. I started to revel in it.. Now i think its my safe place... I don't wana get out of it... i can't get out of it... I got to somehow stop feeling sorry for myself.. I have to get myself out of this deep shit hole of self pity and do something... I need to accomplish something... I need to do something... I need to have someone... I need to have someone more than a friend... I need to love someone.. Im one of those women in the movies who are just a emotional wreck... They crave to love someone ... They need to love someone.. They need to have someone... Im really going crazy... I need to be saved... like the song from Smallville.. Somebody save me... Or watever.. I think i got a closeted split personality.. which counteracts everything i say... Says just the opposite... i think im a deeply damaged human being... Damage that cannot be reversed.. And fucked up part is that there alot of people out there who go through alot worse than me... I mean there are people out there who have lost one of their parents or even worse both of them.. I mean come on dude... Anyways... Yea i know i said i couldn't express what i had on my mind... but im able to write this coz im listening to "black" right now and it is kinda inspiring me... I need a continuous inspiration in my life.. I need to learn stuff.. i need to know things.. I need to do stuff... I got good brain... I need to used for the good stuff.. not the bad stuff... i need to use my ideas for something new... I dont know.. I maybe need to inspire myself and write something.. But i really don't have the direction for it... Anyways.. i think i should stop now coz i don't know if could ever stop with all this whining shit...
Bye..

Q...

Have any of you ever felt a little depressed if your Ex is doing better than you??

Crazyy..

So my life at the moment is i think in the danger of being taken over by my work.. Which maybe not a bad thing but i'm not too sure about it.... I have this problem that i constantly need to have something to do or maybe not to do but something nice to think about or do.... Something that keeps me busy in a good... It can be either going out with friends which is in most the cases the thing i do.. Or just something that keeps me from getting bored.. I just can't stay bored for like 5 minutes.. I start going crazy if stay bored for more than that... I constantly need something to entertain me.. And considering the fact im quite different than most people than finding something to entertain my self is quite difficult.... I know.. i need a girl... But is that just it... I mean is my sole fun filled and joyful existence (and is use fun filled and joyful here coz i know i can survive my life one way or the other) depending on finding someone that is compatible for me from the opposite sex... Hmm.. That is kinda scary but i dont know... Is that what we all are looking for is it just me... I see people looking for better things like jobs, studies etc... But are they just really wanting a girl in the end when they all have found those things that they were striving for... Or maybe im just starting from the end.... Maybe im just looking for the girl first and then go for all the other things after that... But if we think a little more about it... What the hell am i going for.... I mean it really is a hell of responsibility having someone or some people depend on you for all kinds of stuff... I mean coz trust me i may not be ready for it because i really am the spoiled brat in my family.. The youngest child... I mean i know i can survive but how can i look after myself having in mind that i have to be in the best of health saying i may have people depend on me in the future... Thats why i say im all for finding a rich girl for myself... So we just can live of her wealthy inheritance all my life and i can just do what i enjoy doing... All you romantic people out there please dont get shocked by this but i think marriage should really be a business proposal.. i mean it should have a business plan with a 5 year road plan which might be reconsidered after every 2 years.... Seriously.. i mean that might be better for all the parties that are involved... Now just don't scream and start cursing me just yet coz i might have said the anti-cupid or anti-love thing... Because i was the romantic once and i like to think i still am and i was prepared to get married just on love with a lousy low paid job and prayers of my parents to go on but it really just don't happen that much.... Anyways.. I kinda really do believe in love and all that but its really hard if its just love... Love just really needs a lot of luck to pull through... And won't harm either to have alot of money too.... Khair.. I think i have emptied my mind alot for now... Thanks for reading my crap if you really are reading it.... And im not gona proof read it either....

BOL... Somebody Speak

Well the last 3 days have been really crappy at work... Almost all of my team has gone away on trainings and i alone have to do all the shitty work.... Its just messy.. and when you have a bull shit team lead to deal with all the time it gets really tough.. lets just hope i can pass the next 2 days.... The Football is going good... Spain lost which was freaky.... I need to plan something for this weekend.... Well what little time i had this afternoon after lunch i started reading that love letter of closed eyes.. which really made me miss the times that i had... I really miss falling in love.. I really miss having someone about you feel that way.. About whom you just feel like that you can't live without that person... Hmm... Well.. Thats life.. not everyone can be happy.... I just have to deal with my work these days... Well these days im stuck on one of my really old favorites by noori again... Bol... Hope you enjoy it as much as i do....




Saye Thay,
Parchayioon Mein Kiyoon Mein Khoya,
Tarey Thay,
Andheron Mein Kiyoon Mein Roya,

Dil Ray.. Dil Ro.. Anjane rahi Bolay.. Dil De.. Dil Kho,
Roti Meri Akhiyaan Bolein, Bastay Hein Dil Mein Roag,
Deewana Dil Bas Itna Bolay, Sun Yaar Bol Ab Dil Kay,
Bol... Man Re, Sun Lay Yara Bol... Man Bol, Dil Tu Ga Ray..
Ye Aahein Sun Yara Chupti Nahi Is Dil Mein,
Sun Saathi Sun Yara Basti Nahi Is Dil Mein,

Dil Yara Bolay Mera Jag Say Na Darna,
Phoolon Ki Kaliyoon Say Natay Jor,
Dil Yara Mera Phir hi Hai Akela,
Lagay Nahi mera Man Is Oarh,

Dil Ray.. Dil Ro.. Anjane rahi Bolay.. Dil De.. Dil Kho,
Roti Meri Akhiyaan Bolein, Bastay Hein Dil Mein Roag,
Deewana Dil Bas Itna Bolay, Sun Yaar Bol Ab Dil Kay,

Bol... Man Re, Sun Lay Yara Bol... Man Bol, Dil Tu Ga Ray..
Ye Aahein Sun Yara Chupti Nahi Is Dil Mein,
Sun Saathi Sun Yara Basti Nahi Is Dil Mein...

Anyone there

Hey is anyone there... i need someone to talk to....

The Only Exception

Yes you truly were the only exception.... Yes you are... You can't deny it... Its definitely ..Mostly completely true... Yesterday was so tiring... Went after Jumma to work... And came back at 7 in the morning.... Im just tired of all these problems... Anyways... Lets see ... After sleeping in short intervals till arnd 6.. Finally went out arnd 8.... After roaming around for a while.. went to Rock bistro... Their Red Lady Sheesha is to die for... Really awesome... Anyways.. im hooked to this song by Paramore...



The Only Exception

When I was younger
I saw my daddy cry
And curse at the wind
He broke his own heart
And I watched
As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore that
She would never let herself forget
And that was the day that I promised
I'd never sing of love
If it does not exist

But darling,
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

Maybe I know, somewhere
Deep in my soul
That love never lasts
And we've got to find other ways
To make it alone
Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this
Keeping a comfortable, distance
And up until now
I had sworn to myself that I'm
Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Well, You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't
Let go of what's in front of me here
I know you're leaving
In the morning, when you wake up
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Ohh---

You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception
You, are, the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing
Oh, And I'm on my way to believing

Tired

So feeling tired right now... These Evening/Night shifts are killing me... Sadly my annual leaves for this half of the year were used up in the death of my mamoo and nani... And the bad part is my weekend is also on call.... I really hope its going to be chill... Right now im sitting in office waiting to start a activity at half past midnight... Im just tired.... Listening to music.. Hoping to find some one online to chat to.... Unfortunately i have this bad affect on people that they just don't wana talk to me anymore.. Maybe im just too direct.... Sigh... Lets just chill... back to music... And hoping that the weekend goes okay and is not messed up....

Black

I know i have posted this before.... but just wanted to post it again.... One of my all time favorite songs....



"Black"

Hey... oooh...
Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me as her body once did.
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn

Ooh, and all I taught her was everything
Ooh, I know she gave me all that she wore
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything.
Oh, the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I'm surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I sear?
Oh, and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I'm spinning, oh, I'm spinning
How quick the sun can drop away

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I'll be... yeah...
Uh huh... uh huh... ooh...

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, can't it be mine

Aah... uuh..

Too doo doo too, too doo doo [many times until fade]

Fucked UP..

Im feeling so fucked up... I stayed up the whole fucking night and then came back office today... And will have to stay till 2 or 2:30am... Im feeling soo fucked and weird... Life is just weird... Yea im soo fucking moody... My mood swings double the mood swings of a pregnant woman.... I want out of this... I just want out... Bye

EXs should just Disappear

So this post by Pixie reminded me of the time when i got to know that my Ex was engaged... For a moment i was lost... Couldn't breath... Smoked alot of ciggis that day... It was like almost 3 months after my break up... And kinda can't blame her for it.. Because im the one who told her that she should get engaged or married because it will help her get over me... I didnt know it would be so soon... I had no right to be angry at her but i kinda still was... The situation was fucked up... Then she got married after 10 or so months which was really fucked up... Smoked alot that day too... Even though the feeling are buried deep inside me these days.. But still they come up sometimes to show their ugly head... Friends help alot... So does sheesha and Some cigarettes... Hope everyone is dealing with it in their own way...

Nice Guys Finish Last

So this post is related to this post by "You Did What!?" on her blog a while back.... Actually this post is in defense of the dieing breed of us nice guys... We are being driven to extinction by all those girls out there..

I have seen throughout my life that almost all the girls go for the bad boys... You the ones with the bad boy image... The ones who don't really give a shit about girls and just wana play around.... With their gelled up hair and ear rings and heavy bikes and all that crap... I mean i know its exciting for the girls to go for these boys.. But why all of you go for... You go for guys with the biggest egos... You go for guys who you know will leave you the second they get bored but you still go for them... You go for guys about whom you know that they just want sex and phone sex etc... but still you for them... On other hand us nice guys just sit on sidelines waiting for a girl to come to her senses and realize that all the good guys are on the bench...And are actually not playing the game.... We don't want to play the game because to us its all crap... Guys like us have never smoked a cigarette, never did drugs.. never drank any alcohol.. Never messed around with a girl... And always treated girls with respect....

But how long will the nice guys take it... Trust me its not for long... We are already a dieing breed.. People are crossing the lines and crossing onto the other side... They just can't take it anymore... And i blame it on you girls out there who just couldn't settle for a nice guy and wanted a bad boy for herself... So Please females try to give us nice guys some attention and save us from extinction....

Fuck me, I hate myself....

Im really hating myself right now!!!

I Really Miss Some Things

So played cricket almost after a year... Played today and yesterday... Now parts of my body really hurt... Yesterday Enjoyed the rain alot after a long time... Enjoyed getting wet :P .... Hmm.. I miss things... Actually this post by closed eyes made me think about my times... When i used to talk for hours on the phone and time would fly by.. Neither side prepared to say goodbye.. In the i would just listen to her breathing and wait till she slept... I really miss those times.. Actually i think i miss more the idea of having someone.. Human Beings are really pathetic... They kill one another... but the truth is that they can't live without each other... I have Nostalgia in the air right now... Hmm.. Im just to tired to write right now....

Happy Brithday Bro

Happy Birthday Big Bro... Hope you have a great day.. I miss you.. :P